Sunday, September 27, 2009

Tips for surviving a wedding with a four year old

Tips for surviving a wedding with a four year old:

- Teach them yoga. If they become wild have them show off the tree pose.

- Don't be afraid to use the phrase, "I'm the mom" as many times as you need to and to whomever needs reminding.

- After they are dressed and before pictures make them get naked before eating.

- Use the wedding cake as incentive for good behavior.

- Let family and friends watch them but keep an eye out for anyone sneaking them sugar.

- Let them pee on a tree before the ceremony. Otherwise they will swear they don't have to go until the vows are being read. (This might only work for boys.)

- Ignore all nasty looks and snarky comments. You are providing an alternative method of birth control for the bride and groom.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Morning rap

Here is a little rap for your enjoyment!

Could it be the milk on your table or your sticky hands
that make the morning so long?

Or is it the battle of the clothing, the matching socks
that has inspired this song?

My son I love you and I want to encourage your independence.
But it is summer dear, no sweaters and underwear is required for attendance.

Dad you're not helping by suggesting he wear his transformer pajama pants to school.
I know it isn't a fashion show but wearing his Tony Hawk outfit makes him look so cool!

Brushing your teeth is a requirement sweetie, it is not mommy being mean.
You already get away with three baths a week even though I'd like you to be clean.

Oh and since when have you hated bananas especially in your cereal?
Seriously love your breakfast demands will not become imperial!